The Universe gave me an interesting gift yesterday.
I took it for what I thought it was, but it wasn't until I meditated on the gift, that I realized that I already have what I have wanted, I just needed to shift my perspective. Let me explain.
I "randomly" took my dog for a late evening stroll by the water last night. We have been experiencing a heat wave for the last month (has it really been that long?!) and the days are just too hot to walk, hovering around 28 degrees Celsius. So an evening walk at the Spit was called for.
I quote randomly because, in hindsight, there was nothing random about this. Seemed random at the time, but I now believe it was a little nudge from the Universe to get me engaged in life in this way. I had been standing around the kitchen, feeling like something was up, but unable to put my finger on it. A sudden "idea" came to mind to take the dog out, so I did, thinking nothing more of it.
Not five minutes into my walk, I see a tall man walking toward me. I didn't recognize him from a distance, eyesight not being what it used to be. He said, "Hey, I know that lady". It was a friend from a few years back. Just a friend. He has a wife and a family; no romantic ideations at all. We've always hit off, though. There is clearly some other worldly connection between us and we always enjoy our interactions.
We hugged, having both been doubly vaccinated. It was my first non-family hug in, well, I guess over 18 months or so. It was weird and nice. We caught up with things and went our separate ways. This is not about that. This is about what happened the next morning...
I have been T R Y I N G my best to be consistent in expressing my gratitude to the Universe for all that I am provided with. It's important. The literal tick tock world will do it's best to distract us from evolving. While I'm just as addicted at times to my social media, including Tik Tok, I am acutely aware of the absolute time suck that occurs. Who is going to remember to write out their gratitudes when you can numb yourself by starting your day with social media?! I'm not saying social media is evil. Nothing has that kind of power over me. I have choice, you have choice. Always. It's just a decision. Anyway, I've been pretty good this past week writing a morning missive to my beloved Universe. I like it very much.
The day after the friendly meet up, I'm standing in my kitchen, feeling into how much different my life would have been if I had had a loving, supportive partner like I know my friend would have been. Someone on my side. Someone to listen to, to be there. And this is really, really good that I'm thinking this way, because, for most of my life, I have been taking care of everyone and everything other than myself. To be thinking about a possibility of a life where I am receiving support, rather than giving, giving, giving, was a big deal. My life has not been easy. The choices I have made, up to this point, have resulted in a life of struggle.
I grab my coffee and head back to my bedroom, to write my gratitude letter to the Universe. I write how grateful I am for the friendship, recognizing that running into him was not a sign that we would be together. Everything is symbolic. Running into him was a gift, and I wrote about my appreciation for the perspective it allowed me, for opening up my imaginal mind, so that I may FEEL INTO a life where I was supported. It's what I've wanted all along. The gift of my friend (he's a good man), seeing him, helped me see a possibility in my life that I had, up until that point, not been able to see.
I finished my letter of gratitude, and took a few minutes to meditate. I felt into the possibility of a life where I am supported by someone who loves me. It really is about the feeling. After a bit, what I am feeling in this imaginal act, is feeling exactly like the love I feel from the Universe, and I realize I have always had what I have wanted all along. I have always had this super beloved energy that I call Universe to support me. I have always been loved and supported. On my side. Listening, always. The difference is that I can now FEEL this support from the Universe, because I've done the work needed. I've healed my wounds sufficiently enough to feel the ever-present connection.
And it satisfies. But you have to be willing to sit. And to feel. To allow. What we want, we already have. It's just been hidden from our human sight. It takes a shift in perspective. It takes loosening up our human idea of what "it" is. Did the loving supportive feeling HAVE to come from another human? I wouldn't say no, but I no longer have to believe that I don't have it. I HAVE that loving, supportive feeling. From the Universe. And maybe you don't believe that counts. Maybe you don't see it. That's okay. I know what I felt. I know what I feel every time I set an intention to feel loved. I AM loved. Always and forever. And so are you. This shift in perspective has allowed a deeper understanding that my Life is not limited to this human experience. There are unseen forces at play and we are just a small part of it. When we ask, it is given. When we "think" it has not been given, it has; we have just not developed the sight to see; we have not yet shifted perspective to allow it to be seen. We can get what we want. We can get more than what we need. The whole need/want/desire discussion will have to wait for another day. Until then...
I love you. You are loved, supported and appreciated, by me AND the Universe.
Photo by Kamila Maciejewska on Unsplash